Since I was out of commission and vegetating for a month, I was forced to watch (or listen) way too much TV.
I discovered that there’s a marathon of “America’s Next Top Model” running at all times. Not always on the same channel (our cable company offers 50 bazillion channels) – I think they rotate. When it ends on one channel, it starts on another. It seems to be some secret TV law. Tyra must know Oprah.
She (Tyra) has had some interesting judges over the years – Twiggy and Paulina are boring, the “J’s” are fun, Nigel Barker is yummy, but my absolute favorite is Janice Dickinson. That chick makes Charlie Sheen look like an amateur when it comes to bat-shit crazy.
Each cycle is the same – there’s the makeover with the inevitable meltdown (don’t cut/bleach/dye/weave/unweave my hair!!!!!!), the nude or semi-nude shot, the trip overseas, the run your ass off to appointments episode, the animal/reptile/creepy-crawlie shot, and the “Easy, Breezy, Beautiful Cover Girl!” commercial shoot.
I’m not sure what the purpose of this is – you never see these girls in the actual TV promotions. Drew Barrymore, Rihanna, Ellen Degeneres, Queen Latifah and recently, Taylor Swift. But no Top Models… nope, not one.
Each winner gets a $100,000 contract with Cover Girl – to do nothing?
I’m getting really good at doing nothing...
Hey Tyra, sign me up.