Nuts

At this time of year, when the weather turns colder, we occasionally get critters making their way into the house. Usually a field mouse or two - which Sparky will humanely trap and toss back outside. Then they try to make their way back in. It's his version of the Circle of Life.

Me, I have a different theory. They're animals and they belong outside - catch them, kill them and staple their hides to the door as an example to other mice considering our home as a winter vacation. (I'm the bloodthirsty one in this family)

So it wasn't a huge issue when I heard the skittering of tiny feet and saw a flash of brown fur. I texted Sparky that we needed to get the traps and went on with my life. (I know what you're thinking but geez - It's not like I could catch it bare-handed, these little fuckers are FAST!)

The next day, I saw it again only this time I actually SAW it - it's not a fieldmouse.

He looks just like this...

We have the world's biggest hickory tree in our front yard, so we're always seeing squirrels in the yard. For a few years, we had a particularly sneaky red-tailed squirrel who would hurl hickory nuts at us. He had great aim, too - you'd have to duck and run from the driveway to the front door. But we've never had one in the house. Suprising, really considering Son O'Mine has a habit of leaving the doors wide open when he is outside.

We can't use the mouse traps because squirrels have bigger heads (even though this is a little squirrel) so we need to find a better way to get rid of him. I did a little research. They said to close him off into one room (did that) and open a window or door to outside (yep) and put a cracker with some peanut butter on the sill outside (check).

Now, I didn't sit there and watch - left the door open for a couple hours, but the cracker is still there. Maybe he doesn't like JIF creamy peanut butter? Should I have used the Skippy Extra Chunky?

Or maybe he did go outside - haven't heard him since. Although I half expect to see him one of these days pumped up and pissed off...

Hey, it could happen...

A Mystery in Connecticut

Over the years, our family pets (cats & dogs)  have been pretty impressive hunters so it wasn't unusual to occasionally discover tiny corpses in various states of dismemberment. However, we do not currently have a predator in residence. So imagine my surprise last week, when I came across the body of a field mouse in my laundry room.  

 

There was something odd about this little cadaver. He wasn't on his side or his back with his little feet in the air, in fact there were no visible signs of injury. It was as if he just conked mid-stride. Couldn't be Vampires, there was no blood and his head was in one piece, so I'm pretty sure it's not the Zombie Apocalypse.  

 

With no further evidence, we wrote it off as unsolved, zipped the vic into his body bag and cleaned up the crime scene. 

 

The vic in his body bag

A few days later, when I was watering the tomatoes, I found another body. This one was a bird – the deceased was largely intact, but headless. Again, there were no signs of a struggle, the feathers were unruffled – the only thing missing was the skull.  

We have a serial killer on the loose here in Connecticut. 

Son O'Mine thinks it was natural causes. Gazillions spent on his education at the Art school nurturing his creative spirit and he votes “natural causes.” 

Sparky says it’s either a mountain lion or a chupacabra.

And THAT is why I adore Sparky.