"Have your camera ready..."

I was at work when I got the text from my husband.

"Have your camera ready - they changed the Bear."

Oh good grief, what now?

As I made the 45 minute commute home, various bizarre and demented visions danced through my head.

Spring flowers?

Ducks?

Pink Flamingos?

Noooo....

Baseball.

*sigh*

Well... at least they picked the right team.

As if his humiliation was not complete

An Easter Basket?

Really?

Really???

Come on...

Really???????????

These people have no shame.

On behalf of humanity I apologize to bears everywhere.

Spring Makeover

Ahh, Spring.

Time to put the winter duds away and freshen up your look for the warmer weather.

So the Bear got a makeover. New face paint, bright red lipstick and a ring of perky daffodils.

Just what every bear needs.

I wonder if our neighbor ever thought when he grew up, he'd be putting lipstick on a wooden bear. Isn't that every little boy's dream?

You're never fully dressed without a smile...

Actually before they painted, I was on my way to the store and I saw the neighbor's wife out there with a garden hoe digging around the bear's feet. I was so tempted to slam on the brakes and snap a pic...

How perfect would that have been? I could've titled the post "Ho'in for the Bear."

I really need to become a ninja photographer...

Jonesing for a dog...

There he is.

My dream dog.

How can you not love that face?

But... I'm not allowed to have pets.

I broke the last one we had.

You see, we had this cat. Cody. We didn't choose him, he chose us. When they sold the farm across the street, the barn cats scattered. Cody showed up on our front porch one day. He was a scrawny looking tabby cat with one extra long canine tooth and a scar on his right ear.

I was working nights at the time, so I didn't notice as much. But one Saturday afternoon, my husband mentioned "There's some cat who keeps trying to get into the house." As he said this, Spousal One was filling a dish with cat food and another with water and leaving them on the porch.

Not exactly designed to send the feline away.

So, we had a new cat. Now, I love cats, I've always (till now) had cats, but most of them were females. This particular cat was male.

Completely, absolutely, without a doubt MALE.

He had one long canine tooth that was so long it hung below his chin. This cat was a grunting, farting, furbag with the worst breath you could ever imagine. He smelled like something crawled inside him and died.

He was an enigma. A very affectionate pet, but he'd disappear for weeks at a time. We suspected that he was cheating on us. That he had another family somewhere. Because he always came back from these little vacations looking well fed and happy.

When Cody was with us, we enjoyed him, but he had this one bad habit of darting in front of vehicles when they drove in the driveway. More than once, we said "One of these days, that cat's going to get squooshed."

Well...

One day I came back from shopping and as I came into the driveway, I felt a *thump* heard a "meow" and the cat dragged himself out from under my Jeep.

I never saw him till it was too late. We raced him to the vet, but there was nothing they could do for him. So, I held him in my arms as the vet gave him the injection that would send him up to Kitty Heaven.

Now I have been "Pet-less" for the past several years and I have to say it's weird. We've always had some sort of pet in the house whether it was cats, dogs, gerbils, turtles, hermit crabs or birds.

On one hand, it's a bit of a relief - we can pick up and go away for a weekend without having to make arrangements for pets.

But I have to admit, I am longing for a pet. I've got my heart set on a bulldog. Either an English Bulldog like the one above or maybe a French Bulldog which is a smaller version with bat ears.

I know it's selfish. We both work, and Son O'Mine is away at school...

But look at that face...

Spring has sprung

Several years ago, I had a root canal in a front tooth. That little one between the two major front teeth and the canine.

Saturday, while eating multi-grain bread, I heard a "crack!"

Ut oh...

Ran to the bathroom, checked my teeth - couldn't see any cracks, brushed my teeth vigorously - nothing loose.

Phew!

A couple hours later, I went grocery shopping (in torrential rain) and slipped coming into the house - my tongue hit the tooth and out it popped.

I looked like a Jack-o-lantern.

In full hysterics, I called my dentist. God bless her, she met me at the office at 6:00 on a Saturday night in the middle of a monsoon to fix my tooth (temporary fix).

Now, you have to picture my dentist. She's an excellent dentist, but she is also young, petite and from Kentucky - and she sounds exactly like Hanna Montana. And she's perky. So damn perky.

So there I sat, in the chair, contemplating how quickly I went from a not bad looking woman to a toothless old hag while Hanna Montana chattered on in that chipper way of hers.

The upshot is, I could get a bridge, for $3000 but that would put stress on the adjoining teeth - so a dental implant is the way to go - for $3500. Why not? And guess how much my insurance policy covers?

Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada.

Good news! This implant process can take up to 7 months! So I have plenty of time to pay it off! Lucky me. The only positives I see in this are that it can be fixed - and the periodontist will do the implant itself. I like him. He gives me Valium.

Today, it is Spring.

Gorgeous day - 72 degrees. Sun shining, birds chirping.

And where am I?

I'm inside waiting for the furnace repair guy to come. AGAIN.

5 visits, $1300 in furnace repair bills in the last month and the furnace shut off in the middle of the night and won't re-set.

So here I sit, waiting for the guy who I believe can be claimed as a dependent on our taxes.

Happy Freakin' Spring.

Unbearable

Another week -

My company was forced to do some down-sizing this week. I still have a job and for that I am grateful, but I am still sorting out the impact this has had on me.

You see, in August of 2008 I was offered a new position at work. It was something new, a challenge and I was excited about it. I'd be reporting to a woman I didn't know well at all. We worked in different buildings and had almost no contact. As soon as I accepted the job, I was told that my new boss would be leaving within a week. She was relocating to a facility in another state. I would still report to her, but now it would be from 2,500 miles away.

I wasn't sure how or if this whole thing would work. But it did.

Over the past year and a half, she and I spent no more than 8-10 days in the same state. And yet, we developed through phone, email and IM an amazing relationship. What evolved from that daily electronic connection is a profound bond of mutual trust, honesty and respect. She has been there for me every step of the way with encouragement, support and the occasional kick in the ass when needed. I like to think I was able to do the same for her.

This past week, our company closed down that other facility and this brilliant lady is out of a job. I know that it won't be for long. She is strong, positive and enormously talented. I have no doubt that she will find another position. I only hope they appreciate what a treasure she is.

As for me, this week has been a blur. We knew this was coming. Correction: we knew *something* was coming. (You'd have to have your head up your ass not to notice that the business had dropped by 50%.) She and I talked about it and tried to prepare as best we could.

The axe fell on Wednesday. It was immediate and well-orchestrated. Within an hour of the facility closing, all of those people disappeared from email and IM. I understand that management must operate this way to preserve what's left of this company if we have any hope of recovering. Logically, intelectually, I understand this. I've been through this before with other companies.

It's never easy. Layoffs suck - for everyone. For those who lose their jobs, for those who have to deliver that news and for those left behind to wonder if they're next. No matter how prepared you think you are, it still hits you like a sucker punch in the gut.

The rest of the week was filled with re-organizational meetings. More blurs. Notes, discussions, redistribution of the work, etc, etc, etc. Focusing on the task at hand makes it a little easier to hold back the grief.

I am heartbroken.

Driving home on Friday, I finally let loose the tears I'd been holding back for days. And in that release, I understood. If you had asked me a month ago, I'd have told you I loved my job. Loved everything about it, found it fullfilling and challenging. Every day a new adventure! Yes, I loved my job.

What I realize now is that I loved working for this woman. It was not the process, it wasn't the work, it was the boss who made my experience there each day such a joy.

It was her. Her name is Laura.

She was my boss.

She is my friend.

We will keep in touch. We promised each other. Phone calls and emails. Yes, if I am sure of anything it's that this friendship will endure.

And one day for sure, we'll find ourselves together on a beach somewhere, sipping margaritas.

So long, my friend.

For now.

Into every life... a little rain

This has been one hell of a week.

On Monday, we had to replace the tank and pump on our well. To the tune of $2200. Not a big shock, we knew it was coming and had budgeted for the expense (Thank you, IRS!).

What we didn't expect was that on Tuesday night, our home would fill with fumes (much like tires burning) and when we checked the basement, we found the floor covered with water. Now our basement is blessedly water-tight so even though it was raining, we knew this was something else.

Several hours later, the repairman left us, with a bill for repairing the Hot Water Heater (the source of the leak) for $350 and another separate bill for unclogging the furnace (the source of the fumes) for $675. He also informed us that he'd have to return on Thursday to replace the pipe leading from the furnace into the chimney.

After that visit, he gifted us with an invoice for another $700.

Along with all this, we have seen torrential rains this week and a small leak in the roof has turned into a larger mess. So we tried to sleep and ignore the drip, drip, drip into the strategically placed buckets.

But...

This wasn't a totally negative week. There were some random bright spots.

I discovered that my Tinkerbell pin (roughly valued at $1.99) had fallen off my lunch bag. I was positive she most likely dropped in the parking lot and had been the victim of rain/snow/ice and tires... but no, she was found (clean, dry and undamaged) and passed on to a friend whom I happened to bump into.

And for some reason, just by chance (I was clearing out old emails), I opened an email which informed me that I needed to download the new antivirus for my new netbook because the existing trial program expired 2/25. When I looked at the date on my desktop, there it was "Thursday, 2/25."

Crap!

So... I scrambled to D/L the new program, installed, all good... and then I thought... "Wait a minute, it's Wednesday!"

The date on my netbook was off by a day - so I was able to get my antivirus all straightened out before it actually expired.

It's funny - the last time we were hit with these types of household disasters was 20 years ago. We were a young couple in our first home, with a 2 year old son. We were both laid off from our jobs in the same week and within days, the well pump and the furnace died.

My reaction at the time, was panic, "We're going to lose our house!" To which my husband replied "Yep, we probably will."

This did nothing to calm my hysteria. (Note to new husbands: If you learn nothing else, learn when it is appropriate and even expected to lie to your wife.)

20 years later, our reactions are somewhat different. Life does that to you. This time he said,"It'll be fine, don't worry."

After the third repair bill, his response was a shrug, "It is, what it is."

Then we went out to dinner.

Life has a way of taking the edge off things. I've learned not to stress about things I can't control. I try to find joy in the simple things in life. This year for Christmas, along with my netbook I asked for and received Tinkerbell floormats for my Jeep.

Not a huge thing, but I begin and end each day with a smile at the start of my hour-long commute.


The moral of this story - find what makes you smile.

For me - it's Tink.

Bear in a Beehive

This past week, we had what they call a "Typical New England Storm."

By that, I mean that the Weather Peeps predicted 2-4 inches. When all was said and done, we had a foot of new snow.

We're used to that in this part of the country.

Just a couple of weeks ago, they predicted 1-2 feet of snow. Schools and businesses decided to be proactive and began announcing cancellations the day before. I had a Doctor's appointment scheduled on the day of the storm. They called the day before to confirm that I'd be there. They called again the morning of the storm at 7 am to cancel my 9:15 appointment.

The snow didn't start until 11:00 am.

When the storm was over, we had between a half and three quarters of an inch on the ground. And for this, the entire state came to a screeching halt.

But if there's one thing we've learned, it's that we just never know what we're going to get. The weather in New England is predictable in its unpredictability.

It is what it is.

We've also learned to appreciate the beauty of the snow. That pristine whiteness only lasts a milisecond because once the plows and the sand and the salt start distributing, we're left with a brown tinge over everything.

But in that moment, as I was shoveling the front walk, I happened to notice that my Neighbor Bear was sporting a new "do."

My son has a favorite fur-lined Elmer Fudd hat that he wears all winter.

But I think I'm partial to the Bear's Beehive.

Can't wait to see what he does for Easter.

Sue's Bear

So my friend, Sue lives in the next town. She got quite a chuckle when I showed her this blog. "Who in their right mind would put a bear on their lawn? They must be nuts. Glad they're next door to you and not me!"

Oh yeah, Sue had some fun with it...

Until recently.

"I hope you're happy!"

I didn't know what she was talking about until she went on to say that in the center of her town, there was now ... a bear!

Right in front of the Town Hall.

As you can see, this bear is quite a bit different than my own. With his light muzzle and rounder ears - he bears a slight resemblance to Fred Flintstone.

So, there he sits. In front of the Town Hall. I wave to him every morning and night when driving to and from work.

"Who in their right mind would put a bear in front of the Town Hall?"

I'm thinking perhaps it's someone with a deep-seated political grudge...

Because the way he's sitting... he looks like he's taking a dump in that tree...

Hibernating

Do you think Bears ever get tired of hibernating?

Do they poke their heads out of the den and think, "What? More snow? Enough already!"

Do they ever think, "Groundhog Tartare" sounds pretty tasty?

We live in Connecticut. We're used to snow and this year it seems like we've caught a break in the snow department.

Son O'Mine, however is in school in Baltimore. So far, the snowiest winter on record there. The last report said they have received 79 inches of snow this year...

You see, here in New England, we "get" snow. We expect it, we prepare for it and there is a finely structured process for handling it. Plows and sand trucks are perfectly choreographed to clear the highways and byways. Residents know to shovel their walks because most municipalities have a fine if you do not clear your walks. We know from experience to shovel several times during the storm rather than wait till it's over.

We "get" snow.

Folks in the Baltimore/DC area... not so much.

We were in Baltimore a few years back for Parent's weekend at his school. There had been some accumulation of snow the week before. I really thought he was exaggerating when Son O'Mine said "Mom, they don't know what to do with the snow!" Until I saw it with my own eyes.

Streets had been plowed exactly one plow's width. Changing all two lane streets to One-Way. Sidewalks were shoveled exactly one shovel's width - some only had garden shovels so those paths were walked one foot in front of the other.

And the parking... If you've never been to Baltimore, there is little to no off-street parking. So it appeared that some residents would take aim for a snowbank and floor it. We saw cars rammed into snow, or parked precariously at a 60 degree angle atop a two foot high pile of snow, nose pointed to the sky.

I don't mean to pick on Baltimore. If you've never been there, it's like nowhere else in the world. It's easy to fall in love with Charm City.

That's why I think we in New England should take these folks under our wing and mentor them in the fine art of snow removal and navigation. Perhaps we can enlist the help of several NY residents to teach them the Hokey-Pokey of alternate side of the street parking.

Of course, if global climate change continues, we may just have to share this information with the folks in Atlanta... and Miami...

Happy Holidays...

Just when we thought your humiliation had reached it's peak...

The santa hat.

And if that's not festive enough - those candy canes light up with a spooky red glow at night. So rather than the holiday display intended, the impression is that you are being burned at the stake.

This could possibly qualify you for sainthood, Mr. Bear.

Bear D'arc... has a nice ring to it...

I'm inclined to pipe in some Johnny Cash music...

"I stepped into a burning ring of fire..."

Everywhere you go, there you are...

Happy Autumn, Mr. Bear...

There you are, surrounded now by perky yellow mums, and as if that weren't bad enough, they've exchanged the stars and stripes for a flag with a basket of peaches on it. Apparently you are the central piece in the neighbor's "Homage to the harvest."

When you were a mere sapling, did you ever imagine you'd end up as a painted lawn ornament?

It's an interesting topic. I had this conversation with my nephew recently. How we end up as adults doing something completely different than we originally intended to do when we started out as youngsters. And yet, it fits.

Myself, I went to college, but I studied what was expected of me. It seems I spent a great many years doing what was expected. I held jobs for years and did them well, but without any great passion. And now, I find myself in a job that was dropped into my lap - and I find that it is just... right. I am passionate about my work, it requires all of the creative skills and talents I possess and it is fulfilling. I make a difference.

That matters. It's important to know that what you do makes a difference. That your presence here on this planet will not go unnoticed.

Some people know from the start exactly what they want to be and go about single-mindedly accomplishing it. I tip my hat to them. But some of us take a more circuitous path. We "evolve" into who we are meant to be only after taking several wrong turns.

But then, I think that's why we're put on this earth. It's not where you get that matters... it's how you get there and the lessons you learn along the way.

The journey is more important than the destination.

Wear and tear on the Bear...

All the rain we've had this summer has really taken its toll on the Bear.

His paint is fading... and those marigolds are enormous - growing bigger by the day like some creepy kind of Bear-consuming vegetation...

And yet - that freakish red lipstick they slapped on him is still bright.

There are wild rabbits here - even they don't know what to make of this Bear. I've seen them staring as if they're completely perplexed.

Probably wondering if they too will be captured and transformed into some dorky lawn ornament.

The neighbors had a dog years ago - a yippy little beagle named Radar - wonder what ever happened to him? Bet he's stuffed and mounted somewhere in their house... with a fake houseplant balanced on his nose...

Be careful bunnies - you could be next!

You are not alone

Apparently, there are many more of you out there. All over the country, bears held captive in humiliating poses - captured for infinitum in wood...

Here's one fishing... and it's not very clear in the pic but ....

He's smiling...

Oh yeah, Bears smile all the time. Just ask that Grizzly guy...

Still flying the stars and stripes...

Here it is, a week after Memorial Day and he's still holding the stars and stripes. I'm guessing simple geometry wasn't the neighbor's strong suit. The angle of the flag is about 12 degrees above 0....

So the Bear looks like he's been skewered by Uncle Sam.

Poor guy...

Of Bears and things...

I've always been an admirer of Bears, but my taste generally ran to Polar Bears and Pandas.

As a child, on a trip to Beardsley Zoo I became fascinated by the Polar Bear. I watched endlessly as he dove into the water, pulled himself up on the rock, turned, dove, pulled, and so on... Years later, I learned that Polar Bears in captivity are prone to OCD. The boredom of not having to forage for food causes them to develop Obsessive Compulsive Disorder so they repeat the same pacing/swimming/circling movements over and over. But at the time, all I knew was that this huge white bear moved with a remarkable rhythm that was mesmerizing.

I asked my Dad if we could bring him home and he, being the coolest Dad on the planet, said "Sure! He can sleep in your room." My mother was not so cool.

Needless to say, I didn't get my fuzzy roomate.

As for Pandas they're really the superstars of the Bear world when it comes to publicity. They've been endangered for years. And yet, they're in every zoo around the world. We've seen videos of them playing, eating, sleeping and even mating. I remember seeing that Panda Porn on the animal channel. Too freaky for words. Pandas have no shame.

Now, there is a brown Bear in my life.

No great drama in his life. He isn't a victim of global warming, nor is he in danger of extinction.

The only thing that threatens him is public humiliation.



"Save the Bear... save the world."

Memorial Day Weekend

And the Bear flies the stars and stripes...

Oh say can you see...

And so it begins...

The Bear is our next door neighbor.

At one time, in his place stood a majestic pine tree, but someone decided to remove the tree, leaving an eight foot high stump.

Now, we wondered why anyone would leave a stump that tall. Then they stripped the bark off the stump and left it - nekkid. It had an unusual shape,rather lumpy with a flat top. I thought it bore a bizarre resemblance to Bart Simpson, but my husband insisted it looked more like an 8 foot erection protruding out of the grass. Bart or Penis, for more than a year it was an eyesore.

Then one weekend in March, we went out of town. We returned home to find that the stump was no longer a stump. It had been carved into the Bear.

A raw pine nekkid Bear. Eeewww.

A week later, they painted him. Brown. Just ...brown. He stands on a rock (painted gray of course), one paw across his chest as if he's saying the pledge of allegiance.

Not a scary, ferocious Bear (as bears should be), but a goofy, non-threatening, patriotic Bear.

I hated him. Despised that stupid Bear. Each day, I'd plot his demise. I'd fantasize about borrowing a rifle and blowing that stupid brown woodie out of the yard.

Then came Easter.

What I didn't know was that when they carved this monstrosity, they also drilled a hole under his paw.

So there he was, Easter weekend, surrounded by bright yellow daffodils, sporting a huge pink "HAPPY EASTER!!!!" flag clutched in his paw. However, because the paw is permanently poised across his chest, he looked like he'd been speared through the heart by some demented Easter Bunny.

I swear I could see a definite wince in his painted eyes as he stood there on display for the world to witness his ultimate indignity.

I began to see the Bear in a completely different light.