Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Dear Stop & Shop...

I think we should see other people. 

I tried to be sympathetic because I was sure you were just going through a midlife crisis. I was patient while you underwent a complete makeover with new colors, shorter aisles and flashy displays.  

I understand - it’s not easy getting older. We all get to that point where it feels like life is passing us by.  

So I was willing to go along with the sexy new look if it made you feel better about yourself. Then came the gradual withdrawal. At first it was a couple of self-checkout lines. Then SCAN-IT popped up at every entrance.  
“Do it your damn self.”
But now it’s just getting downright weird. This week when I was shopping, I found this sad little display in the middle of the Pet Food aisle.  

Is this some secret grocery code?

That’s right – canned pumpkin.  

I could not make this up

I figure either Dementia has set in… or you’re fucking with me.  

Either way, this relationship is over. I’m tired of being taken for granted. You don’t seem to care whether I’m around or not.
I need to move on and find someone who values me.
Oh, who am I kidding? You're close and convenient and we have a history.
God help me - I just can't quit you!

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