Thursday, May 24, 2012

Dragons, Gargoyles and Pink Flamingos...

Le Garden - en mulch
We seem to be slipping into a gardening frenzy here. The garden is all neatly fenced, raised beds full of tomatoes, peppers, squash and beans - red mulch on the outside, brown mulch on the insides. Blueberries are in pots on a bed of red mulch under a cage to keep the birds away.

Today, Sparky and I went mulch shopping and stopped in a garden shop full of concrete figurines. We "oohed" and "ahhhed" over the dogs, angels, lions and birds, dragons and gargoyles, the gazing balls and even some lawn jockeys (who knew they still sold those?) ... but then, we stopped ourselves.

Thank Goodness.

Here in New England, the addiction to lawn ornaments is an epidemic. It's a slippery slope from one cute concrete gnome to Mary-On-The-Halfshell and Pink Flamingos.

 Our house is surrounded by solar lights and (are you sensing a theme here? ) red mulch.  I'm thinking we can skip the chatchkes for now.

Although, there's room in the back yard for a Koi pond...

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Save yourselves...

In my service to Mistress Mother Nature I spend time daily weeding, watering, fertilizing and otherwise caring for and worshiping her beauty. So far, I haven't killed anything although the blue columbine I planted is still flowerless while HER pink columbines are setting records for blooms.  Go figure.

New Pinkness

Each year I plant boatloads of impatiens. They may be my favorite annual because they come in virtually every color, they grow in shade, they tell you immediately when they need water (they wilt visibly - sometimes I swear I can hear them gasping) and if you fertilize the hell out of them, they will quickly fill whatever space you put them in, completely eliminating the need to do much weeding.

Yesterday, at the back of a bed of impatiens I discovered this:

Oh. Em. Gee.

I showed it to Sparky but he dismissed it. "It's just a hole. Relax."

Relax? How can I relax? I watch NatGeo TV!

Now it all makes sense. The bunny that lived in our yard disappeared. And the squirrel population is dwindling rapidly. The signs are obvious.

There are Subterranean Pythons in Connecticut. 

God help us all.

Monday, May 14, 2012

50 Shades of Pink

Blooming, Blooming, Blooming!

Ever since that last post about Her, this concrete-busting columbine plant has been in perpetual bloom.  Feeling lucky, I bought and planted a blue columbine nearby. Within a day, every friggin' flower fell off the plant.

Blue Columbloomless

To make Her point, this is what sprouted up about 7 inches from the blue plant ...

Ta dah!

Just in case the message was unclear... Mistress Mother Nature (I once again surrender to Her Supreme Awesomeness) prefers the columbines in this garden pink.

Now if only she could do something about the Bear's wardrobe...

Sunday, May 13, 2012

These people need professional help...

Bride Bear? Mom Bear? Barbie Bear?
So, yesterday I came home and almost took out the dogwood tree in the front yard. As I turned into the driveway, I saw the Bear... in all his glory... in Drag.

That's right, they made him a dress out of what looks like muslin - with a headpiece/veil to match. 

Oh. Em. Fucking. Gee.

It's not easy to see, but he's holding flowers. I had to hide behind Son O'Mine's car to snap the pic since the neighbors were out in the yard and don't take kindly to me strolling across their driveway for a photo op.

I'm weirded out by people who dress up their LIVE pets but damn, this takes it to a whole nother level.

The sad thing is... it's not even a pretty dress. They could've at least gone with something in a floral.


Since we're dancing on the gender fence here, I can't wait to see what they have in mind for Memorial Day. I'm picturing a platinum blonde wig, stars and stripes miniskirt and white patent leather boots.

And flaming batons...