Old Bear, New Bear

The Original Next Door Bear

 

For those of you wondering, the Bear emerged from the fire unscathed. The neighbor’s garage went up in flames, but the Bear survived without a mark. A true ursine miracle. So, he is still there, in the wilds of suburban Connecticut, in all his glory. He continues to mark every season, holiday, and world event with his own brand of style. And I will continue to visit periodically if only to keep up with the season's fashion.

Obviously, since I moved, I no longer live next door to the Bear. I was feeling a little lost until I came upon this guy for sale. When I saw this face, I knew I had to rescue him. He looked like a good listener. And he is. 

Dubya times two

When I got him home and looked at him closely, I saw a distinct resemblance to George W. Bush. He’s got that same goofy, confused wince to his expression. 

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce… Dubya. 

I love having him here and talk to him daily. He’s a constant reminder that even though I have strong opinions and sometimes see things in black and white, given the right context, I am fully capable of changing my mind. 

For example – I did not vote for Bush#2 and when he was POTUS I generally regarded him as the WORST PRESIDENT EVER. 

And now… looking back… Damn, I miss him.

Bear Nekkid Bird Sanctuary

SF Homes in Wooded Setting

When I was a new bride, I was a collector. For some reason, I felt compelled to accumulate groups of things - handcrafted things like birdhouses and hand-thrown pottery. Pretty things but not particularly useful and a pain in the ass to keep free of dust. Luckily, I have the attention span of gnat so these collections never grew to the hundreds or thousands, just enough (I thought) to make a statement.

Until recently, the birdhouses were displayed above my kitchen cabinets. Since Sparky retired, we've been doing a lot of work on the house and the yard and I've been in this "Re-use, Recycle or Dump" mode. In my zeal to de-clutter the house as we renovate,  some items have migrated outdoors.

The shade gardens in front of the house needed... something.

As you know, we New Englanders love us some yard ornaments. Yes indeedy, we do.

So rather than go the way of flamingos and Mary-on-the-halfshell, I decided to relocate the birdhouses outdoors.  We mounted the houses on some beautiful old weathered fence posts and I have to admit, I'm pretty pleased with the way they turned out.

Bird Condos -  Great Amenities, Low HOA Fees

Now, I didn't actually expect birds to use these since they're placed so close to the house.  My thought was that they would be purely decorative. The birds, however, had other ideas. Someone is currently renovating this Bait Shack directly in front of my Living Room window.

Cozy Single Family - Under Renovation

I came home one day last week and found a Chickadee about to enter the birdhouse with a bright blue string clutched in her beak.  Since I love to decorate, I decided to help her with the reno project. I pulled out my knitting bag and tied scraps of bright purple and blue yarn to various trees in the yard.

Apparently, Mistress Mother Nature is pleased because the next day, I was gifted with this:

Another single perfect bloom

Although, someone else is NOT so happy because I found the corpse of a baby bird on the top rail of my garden fence.  I felt like the guy in The Godfather who found the horse's head in his bed. I suspect it's the Subterranean Pythons...

This is war.

Bear Nekkid Bird Rescuer



 Funny thing about being unemployed, you lose track of days. I remember to water and weed and fertilize, but ask me what day of the week it is or even what month, and the brain freezes. So imagine my surprise when I realized that this post was only ONE month ago!

My garden has grown a bit ;-)

photo taken today, 06/23

I know I said no chatchkes, and there are no flamingos.... but I read that birds like blueberries so to discourage them, we built a nifty cage. I found this old owl way in the back of the yard from the garden we had 20 years ago.  His eyes are gone, he had wasps living up his kazoo and his head was covered in bird poop - it was like the other birds were mocking him.  I HAD to save him. So we cleaned him up, gave him a Raid colonoscopy and brought him out of retirement. He may be old, but he gets the job done.  I call him Stevie Wonder. 


Whoooooooooooo Goes There?

And then, I found a bird at Home Depot. I left him there the first time I saw him but he was with a bunch of others so I figured someone else would adopt him. A week later, we went back and he was still there... alone with two broken birds. I took it as a sign. Now he hovers over the herb pot, up to his ass in Sweet Basil. I call him Marty Feldman.


Fly this way...


On the Subterranean Python front, Sparky found the best trap ever invented! This thing is fucking brilliant! It's not actually a trap, it's more like a guillotine for underground pests.

Our Weapon of Choice

It whacks them, but you don't have to dispose of the bodies - they're already buried. This is serial killer criminal genius. If they ever make these things people size, we're all screwed.



Mother Nature is pleased...

I garden the same way I do most things - impulsively. I stroll through Home Depot garden department and when something pretty catches my eye, I'll buy it and then wander around the yard until I find a spot for it. Then I pray that it lives. Most plants here have a 50-50 chance of survival. There was one pretty japanese maple that I planted and moved about 7 times until it finally died a piteous death.

And Mother Nature usually punished me for my cavalier approach to her babies.

But this year, I've taken a different approach. I've been actually reading those little tags that come in the pots, researching online about the proper care and handling of the flora and fauna I purchase and it's paid off. Who knew?

The vegetable garden is flourishing - we have tomatos and peppers and the very beginnings of beans and squash blossoms. The shade garden is coming along and the lavender plants smell heavenly.

Apparently, I have been a very good girl. The blooms have all disappeared from Her pink columbine plants. But today when I was on my way to the gym, I saw this:

Only one, but perfect!

I'm still battling the subterranean pythons though. Someone told me they don't like garlic so each morning I wander around the yard with a bucket of garlic powder and toss some down each hole. I'm not sure if it works - they don't return to that hole, but they do dig new ones, each progressively larger. I think the little fuckers are using heavy machinery to dig now. Sparky says it's time to get a trap but I'm considering calling in some back up of my own:

Combat Gnomes

Besides, they'll come in handy in the Zombie Apocalypse.

Dragons, Gargoyles and Pink Flamingos...

Le Garden - en mulch

We seem to be slipping into a gardening frenzy here. The garden is all neatly fenced, raised beds full of tomatoes, peppers, squash and beans - red mulch on the outside, brown mulch on the insides. Blueberries are in pots on a bed of red mulch under a cage to keep the birds away.



Blooooooooberries!

Today, Sparky and I went mulch shopping and stopped in a garden shop full of concrete figurines. We "oohed" and "ahhhed" over the dogs, angels, lions and birds, dragons and gargoyles, the gazing balls and even some lawn jockeys (who knew they still sold those?) ... but then, we stopped ourselves.

Thank Goodness.

Here in New England, the addiction to lawn ornaments is an epidemic. It's a slippery slope from one cute concrete gnome to Mary-On-The-Halfshell and Pink Flamingos.

 Our house is surrounded by solar lights and (are you sensing a theme here? ) red mulch.  I'm thinking we can skip the chatchkes for now.

Although, there's room in the back yard for a Koi pond...

"Have your camera ready..."

I was at work when I got the text from my husband.

"Have your camera ready - they changed the Bear."

Oh good grief, what now?

As I made the 45 minute commute home, various bizarre and demented visions danced through my head.

Spring flowers?

Ducks?

Pink Flamingos?

Noooo....

Baseball.

*sigh*

Well... at least they picked the right team.

As if his humiliation was not complete

An Easter Basket?

Really?

Really???

Come on...

Really???????????

These people have no shame.

On behalf of humanity I apologize to bears everywhere.