Friday, August 5, 2011

It's a Jungle out here, Folks.

Yesterday the local news announced a health alert - Rabid Bats have been found in New London, CT.

I know what you're thinking. "Connecticut is nothing but suburbs - Cul De Sacs and Country Clubs."

Actually, that's not far from the truth - on the surface. But that's just a clever facade. Behind the Soccer Moms and Debutantes is a plethora of predatory wildlife.

Oh yes, the wild west doesn't have a lock on dangerous critters. There's some scary shit here in New England.

Sparky took this pic of two hawks perched on a neighbor's car a couple of weeks ago. 

"I didn't get an ivite, did you?... Crap!"

They were there for hours, not the least bit afraid of the humans. Maybe they were miffed because they didn't get invited to the party so they decided to crap all over the cars. Kind of poetic justice.

For over a year now, people have been reporting Mountain Lions in CT. To which our DEP responded, "Don't be silly, there are no Mountain Lions in Connecticut!" Last month, one was hit by a car in Milford and the DEP's statement was "Well, it wasn't NATIVE to CT. The autopsy shows it came from North Dakota." (Or South Dakota - anyway, it was a Dakota.)

We also have Fishers (AKA Fishercats). These are a nasty (and big) member of the weasel family that can grow to three feet long. Sparky and I saw one once on the way to the Casinos (for research purposes). It shot in front of our car - those suckers are FAST! It looked mean which makes sense because they're one of the few animals that can hunt and eat Porcupines... Porcupines!

And speaking of nasty, Connecticut is riddled with wild turkeys. (Think I'm kidding? Google "Wild Turkeys in CT") Now, most people think turkeys come from Butterball, but when they still have all their parts (beaks 'n feets), these monsters are HUGE. Females average 36 inches and males average 48. That's four feet tall, folks.

They look better cooked.
They travel in packs or herds or gaggles or gangs, whatever the hell you call it. And they've been known to bring traffic on the Merritt Parkway to a complete halt during the Spring mating season.

And now, we have Rabid Bats.

This week, we found a dead skunk on the front lawn. Now, it's possible that he got hit by a car and was just able to drag his stinky self up on our lawn before he expired in a cloud of "Eau de P. U."

But the bodies are piling up. This is the third body in a month and with all the predators around here, the possibilities are endless.

And you thought it was easy out here in the Suburbs?  It ain't all pool parties and barbecues, Folks.


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