Margaritas and Memories

So this week, I had dinner (and margaritas) with my friend Sue. We hadn't seen each other in about 5 years and it's probably 30 years since we had an opportunity to have a real conversation. 

We have always been as different as night and day - Sue is outgoing and competitive and athletic - I am none of those things.  She has two brothers, I'm an "only." She grew up in a large, loving, crazy Italian family.  I loved going to her home because there was always noise and laughter there - the sounds of family, the sounds of love.  My family was much smaller, quiet and not very expressive - there weren't many smiles there.

But, our personalities seemed to complement each other. We shared a sense of wonder and imagination (we once saw a UFO - honest!) - and we planned to one day open a Girl Detective Agency.  Our time together was punctuated by laughter.

By the time we entered high school, we'd already started to head in separate directions.  I went off to a magnet Art School and Sue's natural athletic talent took her into the sports arena.

After college, we headed off in different directions - and then,  two weddings, one birth, one and a half divorces and all the other things that life throws at you.

I wasn't sure what to expect - would we have anything in common after all these years apart?

The fun-loving girl with the irrepressible laugh who wore my pink high-tops under her wedding gown is still there - but she's grown into a strong, passionate, socially conscious woman who is determined to make this world a better place.

I love Sue - she's the closest I've ever had to a sister.  And now that I see the amazing woman she's grown into, I have developed a whole new respect for the person that she is.

She makes me want to get my shit together and finish that second book I've been poking at (and avoiding) for years - and finish every other unfinished project I've started over the last decade.

She makes me want to be a better person.

I think that's the best thing one friend can do for another. 

Here comes the Bride...

"Let go or be dragged"

When I was a child, I lost all of the people closest to me within the space of one year.  Consequently, I've always had a difficult time letting go of people.  Even those who were toxic and hurtful and damaging. I clung to them fiercely because my biggest fear was being left alone.
Over the past several weeks I have reconnected with some old friends that I'd lost touch with.  They reminded me that my personhood isn't lost, she's simply been buried for a long time. 

The Me I once was

Yes, that was me at age 26. She was an individual - a person. She was bright and loving and strong and wild and brave. Most of all, she was fearless.  And I miss her.

I see now that what I once believed was a safety net, was actually an anchor dragging me down.  Because I was too afraid to let go.

So this is me... letting go. 

It may take me a while to dig my way out, but I intend to fly.

She can shove a plant through concrete

With all the changes going on in my life lately, I haven't been doing as much (well, none at all) gardening as I did last summer. I planted a few things, but nothing close to the gardening frenzy I slipped into last year.  Each day as I leave for work, I glance to the right of the porch, hoping for a sign that the concrete-busting columbine is reappearing.

But, so far, nothing.

Yesterday, the masochist in me decided it would be a good idea to spend a couple hours in the scorching heat, weeding the shade beds I planted last year. Today, when I went out to weed the front walk, I found this little beauty smiling up at me.

Hellooooooo!

I like to think it's MMN (Mistress Mother Nature)'s way of showing her appreciation. But then again, it could just be her way of saying "Take care of my babies, or I'll shove a plant up your crack."

Either way, message received loud and clear.

Yes, Ma'am.

Sorry for the lapse... I was on a secret mission

My apologies for the long silence -

BUT....

I have some news...

I HAVE A JOB!!!!!

Hallelujah!!!

Funny how life works out. I spied the job posting on Indeed.com (Great site!). It was a position with a local non-profit organization that I'd actually done business with at one of my previous jobs.  The idea of working for them had never crossed my mind but it just seemed to jump out at me from the list. 

Ah, what the hell.

So, I shot them my resume and a cover letter, got a call the very next day and interviewed the day after that. The next day I had an offer.

I started my new position two days after I filed for my last available week of unemployment benefits. 

And right after the transgender blizzard (Nemo aka Charlotte) dropped a few feet of snow on us.

Trans-storm Tootsies

This storm was relatively gentle on us - we didn't lose power and were able to dig out without much drama although it did take 7 hours to clear our driveway and walk with the snowblower.  But I think I would've walked the 8 miles to work in that snow if I had to.

I always believed that everything happens for a reason and this job with this particular organization coming at this particular time... was destiny.

It's a small office populated with people who are positive and supportive and respectful of each other and the customers.

I have an office to go to, a job to do that is challenging and fulfilling and I am surrounded by genuinely nice folks.

I am beary, beary happy.

Into every life... a little rain

This has been one hell of a week.

On Monday, we had to replace the tank and pump on our well. To the tune of $2200. Not a big shock, we knew it was coming and had budgeted for the expense (Thank you, IRS!).

What we didn't expect was that on Tuesday night, our home would fill with fumes (much like tires burning) and when we checked the basement, we found the floor covered with water. Now our basement is blessedly water-tight so even though it was raining, we knew this was something else.

Several hours later, the repairman left us, with a bill for repairing the Hot Water Heater (the source of the leak) for $350 and another separate bill for unclogging the furnace (the source of the fumes) for $675. He also informed us that he'd have to return on Thursday to replace the pipe leading from the furnace into the chimney.

After that visit, he gifted us with an invoice for another $700.

Along with all this, we have seen torrential rains this week and a small leak in the roof has turned into a larger mess. So we tried to sleep and ignore the drip, drip, drip into the strategically placed buckets.

But...

This wasn't a totally negative week. There were some random bright spots.

I discovered that my Tinkerbell pin (roughly valued at $1.99) had fallen off my lunch bag. I was positive she most likely dropped in the parking lot and had been the victim of rain/snow/ice and tires... but no, she was found (clean, dry and undamaged) and passed on to a friend whom I happened to bump into.

And for some reason, just by chance (I was clearing out old emails), I opened an email which informed me that I needed to download the new antivirus for my new netbook because the existing trial program expired 2/25. When I looked at the date on my desktop, there it was "Thursday, 2/25."

Crap!

So... I scrambled to D/L the new program, installed, all good... and then I thought... "Wait a minute, it's Wednesday!"

The date on my netbook was off by a day - so I was able to get my antivirus all straightened out before it actually expired.

It's funny - the last time we were hit with these types of household disasters was 20 years ago. We were a young couple in our first home, with a 2 year old son. We were both laid off from our jobs in the same week and within days, the well pump and the furnace died.

My reaction at the time, was panic, "We're going to lose our house!" To which my husband replied "Yep, we probably will."

This did nothing to calm my hysteria. (Note to new husbands: If you learn nothing else, learn when it is appropriate and even expected to lie to your wife.)

20 years later, our reactions are somewhat different. Life does that to you. This time he said,"It'll be fine, don't worry."

After the third repair bill, his response was a shrug, "It is, what it is."

Then we went out to dinner.

Life has a way of taking the edge off things. I've learned not to stress about things I can't control. I try to find joy in the simple things in life. This year for Christmas, along with my netbook I asked for and received Tinkerbell floormats for my Jeep.

Not a huge thing, but I begin and end each day with a smile at the start of my hour-long commute.


The moral of this story - find what makes you smile.

For me - it's Tink.