Stevie Wonder needs backup

I think the birds are having parties in my garden at night.

 I gave them birdhouses and nest-building-yarn and I've been careful not to use toxic chemicals around the yard. The only thing I asked was that they stay out of the vegetable garden. As a gentle reminder, I hired Stevie Wonder as a bouncer.

Stevie Wonder on the job

Now I'm thinking Stevie may need some backup.

Lately, I've noticed suspicious litter all around the outside edge of the garden.  I don't actually see the birds do it, but the evidence is there every morning - bird droppings all around the outside of the fence.

So far they haven't been eating the vegetables (although Sparky thinks they snatched his blueberries despite the wickedly brilliant bird cage he built) but they're getting closer.

The next thing we know, they'll be smoking and drinking and making s'mores in our firepit.

Punks.

So I think we need to get some additional security.

Back off, you feathered freaks!

Oh yeah.

Bear Nekkid Bird Rescuer



 Funny thing about being unemployed, you lose track of days. I remember to water and weed and fertilize, but ask me what day of the week it is or even what month, and the brain freezes. So imagine my surprise when I realized that this post was only ONE month ago!

My garden has grown a bit ;-)

photo taken today, 06/23

I know I said no chatchkes, and there are no flamingos.... but I read that birds like blueberries so to discourage them, we built a nifty cage. I found this old owl way in the back of the yard from the garden we had 20 years ago.  His eyes are gone, he had wasps living up his kazoo and his head was covered in bird poop - it was like the other birds were mocking him.  I HAD to save him. So we cleaned him up, gave him a Raid colonoscopy and brought him out of retirement. He may be old, but he gets the job done.  I call him Stevie Wonder. 


Whoooooooooooo Goes There?

And then, I found a bird at Home Depot. I left him there the first time I saw him but he was with a bunch of others so I figured someone else would adopt him. A week later, we went back and he was still there... alone with two broken birds. I took it as a sign. Now he hovers over the herb pot, up to his ass in Sweet Basil. I call him Marty Feldman.


Fly this way...


On the Subterranean Python front, Sparky found the best trap ever invented! This thing is fucking brilliant! It's not actually a trap, it's more like a guillotine for underground pests.

Our Weapon of Choice

It whacks them, but you don't have to dispose of the bodies - they're already buried. This is serial killer criminal genius. If they ever make these things people size, we're all screwed.