There she is...

Linda Hamilton

Injected, rubbed and restrained... and spent.

The slut.

There is a body in my trunk...

Well, I drive a Jeep Cherokee so I don't actually have a trunk. But there is a space behind the back seat - and there is currently a body in it.

A dead body.

Dead, dismembered and drained.

Her feet are in a separate bag...

I didn't know her before her untimely demise, but I suspect she is a Hamilton.

 Note the strong family resemblance

Sparky and his BFF (My Sister-Wife, Geno) used to roast pigs in a huge oil drum in Geno's backyard.   Everyone else loved to watch the pig spin while drinking copious amounts of beer and tequila but since I don't drink all that much, the sight of a corpse rotisserie-ing all day in a rusty oil drum was less than appetizing.

Then, I discovered La Caja China!

I saw Roberto kick Bobby Flay's butt in a Pork Shoulder Throwdown and I was sold. I had found THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFT for my husband.  (We've been married 27 years - I ran out of great gift ideas around 15 years ago, so this was a true Christmas miracle.)

I knew it was a hit when Sparky assembled the box in the middle of my living room on Christmas Eve. Since then, there's been no stopping him. Several times a year, Sparky whips out his Caja China and cooks up a pig.

It's a big production, mind you. He restrains the pig spread-eagled on a rack, injects the pig with secret juice, then he rubs the pig all over with coarse salt and spices...

'Scuse me... had a little "50 Shades of Pork" moment there...'

Anyhow, a friend of Son O'Mine is having a party tomorrow and he asked Sparky to roast a pig. So,  at this very moment, he's out there restraining and injecting and rubbbbbbing...

I'm going to watch.

Hey, I'm old... I take my thrills wherever I can.

Bear Nekkid Bird Sanctuary

SF Homes in Wooded Setting

When I was a new bride, I was a collector. For some reason, I felt compelled to accumulate groups of things - handcrafted things like birdhouses and hand-thrown pottery. Pretty things but not particularly useful and a pain in the ass to keep free of dust. Luckily, I have the attention span of gnat so these collections never grew to the hundreds or thousands, just enough (I thought) to make a statement.

Until recently, the birdhouses were displayed above my kitchen cabinets. Since Sparky retired, we've been doing a lot of work on the house and the yard and I've been in this "Re-use, Recycle or Dump" mode. In my zeal to de-clutter the house as we renovate,  some items have migrated outdoors.

The shade gardens in front of the house needed... something.

As you know, we New Englanders love us some yard ornaments. Yes indeedy, we do.

So rather than go the way of flamingos and Mary-on-the-halfshell, I decided to relocate the birdhouses outdoors.  We mounted the houses on some beautiful old weathered fence posts and I have to admit, I'm pretty pleased with the way they turned out.

Bird Condos -  Great Amenities, Low HOA Fees

Now, I didn't actually expect birds to use these since they're placed so close to the house.  My thought was that they would be purely decorative. The birds, however, had other ideas. Someone is currently renovating this Bait Shack directly in front of my Living Room window.

Cozy Single Family - Under Renovation

I came home one day last week and found a Chickadee about to enter the birdhouse with a bright blue string clutched in her beak.  Since I love to decorate, I decided to help her with the reno project. I pulled out my knitting bag and tied scraps of bright purple and blue yarn to various trees in the yard.

Apparently, Mistress Mother Nature is pleased because the next day, I was gifted with this:

Another single perfect bloom

Although, someone else is NOT so happy because I found the corpse of a baby bird on the top rail of my garden fence.  I felt like the guy in The Godfather who found the horse's head in his bed. I suspect it's the Subterranean Pythons...

This is war.

Independence Day

Decked out for July 4th

Today is the 4th of July and Americans all over the world are celebrating their independence. Here in the Greene household, we celebrate a little more this year.

As some of you may know, in addition to coaching Football, for the past 20 years Sparky also worked full time as a Correction Officer in a maximum security prison. As of July first, he is officially RETIRED.

A lot is said of those who fight in foreign wars for the freedoms we enjoy, and yet, rarely does anyone acknowledge the selfless service of those who protect us here at home. We're all aware of the soldiers who race to battle with guns and grenades but what of those men and women who walk each day unarmed among society's most violent criminals with nothing more than a small body alarm to protect them.

These are the people who form a line of defense between us and those who would hurt or kill us for no reason other than we have something they want.

And yet, there are some who resent the "20 years and out" policy. They feel that these state employees somehow get a "free ride" on the taxpayer's dime.

Make no mistake about it, Correction Officers EARN that retirement.

20 years of working a rotating schedule - 5 days on, 3 days off.

Overtime is not an hour here and there - it's a full 8 hour shift on top of your normal shift. That's 16 hours straight - sometimes voluntary but it can be (and often is) "ordered" when necessary.

20 years of working every holiday. No holidays, no snow days because they are  "essential personnel."

20 years of going to work every day in a freshly pressed uniform only to have inmates hurl all manner of bodily secretions at you - this is just one form of assault - many are HIV+

20 years of daily verbal abuse - being called every racist, ethnic or sexual slur imagineable - you cannot respond in kind - that would be unprofessional.

20 years of being locked behind bars with the most dangerous humans on the planet - and knowing that to them, you are nothing more than a target. (Sparky was well respected in the prison and yet he was assaulted twice.)

Correction work takes its toll on those who work there and the families who love them. It changes people. It's not easy to maintain your basic faith in humanity when you spend 8-16 hours a day bearing witness to the horrors that humans are capable of inflicting on themselves and one another. It's easy to become jaded and cynical, and it's not easy to turn that off when you get home.

Sparky's 20 years are done. Ever since he made the decision to go, I've noticed a change in his demeanor. Each day his smile comes more readily and he laughs more easily.

Today we celebrate Sparky's Independence Day.
　

Bear Nekkid Bird Rescuer



 Funny thing about being unemployed, you lose track of days. I remember to water and weed and fertilize, but ask me what day of the week it is or even what month, and the brain freezes. So imagine my surprise when I realized that this post was only ONE month ago!

My garden has grown a bit ;-)

photo taken today, 06/23

I know I said no chatchkes, and there are no flamingos.... but I read that birds like blueberries so to discourage them, we built a nifty cage. I found this old owl way in the back of the yard from the garden we had 20 years ago.  His eyes are gone, he had wasps living up his kazoo and his head was covered in bird poop - it was like the other birds were mocking him.  I HAD to save him. So we cleaned him up, gave him a Raid colonoscopy and brought him out of retirement. He may be old, but he gets the job done.  I call him Stevie Wonder. 


Whoooooooooooo Goes There?

And then, I found a bird at Home Depot. I left him there the first time I saw him but he was with a bunch of others so I figured someone else would adopt him. A week later, we went back and he was still there... alone with two broken birds. I took it as a sign. Now he hovers over the herb pot, up to his ass in Sweet Basil. I call him Marty Feldman.


Fly this way...


On the Subterranean Python front, Sparky found the best trap ever invented! This thing is fucking brilliant! It's not actually a trap, it's more like a guillotine for underground pests.

Our Weapon of Choice

It whacks them, but you don't have to dispose of the bodies - they're already buried. This is serial killer criminal genius. If they ever make these things people size, we're all screwed.



Mother Nature is pleased...

I garden the same way I do most things - impulsively. I stroll through Home Depot garden department and when something pretty catches my eye, I'll buy it and then wander around the yard until I find a spot for it. Then I pray that it lives. Most plants here have a 50-50 chance of survival. There was one pretty japanese maple that I planted and moved about 7 times until it finally died a piteous death.

And Mother Nature usually punished me for my cavalier approach to her babies.

But this year, I've taken a different approach. I've been actually reading those little tags that come in the pots, researching online about the proper care and handling of the flora and fauna I purchase and it's paid off. Who knew?

The vegetable garden is flourishing - we have tomatos and peppers and the very beginnings of beans and squash blossoms. The shade garden is coming along and the lavender plants smell heavenly.

Apparently, I have been a very good girl. The blooms have all disappeared from Her pink columbine plants. But today when I was on my way to the gym, I saw this:

Only one, but perfect!

I'm still battling the subterranean pythons though. Someone told me they don't like garlic so each morning I wander around the yard with a bucket of garlic powder and toss some down each hole. I'm not sure if it works - they don't return to that hole, but they do dig new ones, each progressively larger. I think the little fuckers are using heavy machinery to dig now. Sparky says it's time to get a trap but I'm considering calling in some back up of my own:

Combat Gnomes

Besides, they'll come in handy in the Zombie Apocalypse.

Dragons, Gargoyles and Pink Flamingos...

Le Garden - en mulch

We seem to be slipping into a gardening frenzy here. The garden is all neatly fenced, raised beds full of tomatoes, peppers, squash and beans - red mulch on the outside, brown mulch on the insides. Blueberries are in pots on a bed of red mulch under a cage to keep the birds away.



Blooooooooberries!

Today, Sparky and I went mulch shopping and stopped in a garden shop full of concrete figurines. We "oohed" and "ahhhed" over the dogs, angels, lions and birds, dragons and gargoyles, the gazing balls and even some lawn jockeys (who knew they still sold those?) ... but then, we stopped ourselves.

Thank Goodness.

Here in New England, the addiction to lawn ornaments is an epidemic. It's a slippery slope from one cute concrete gnome to Mary-On-The-Halfshell and Pink Flamingos.

 Our house is surrounded by solar lights and (are you sensing a theme here? ) red mulch.  I'm thinking we can skip the chatchkes for now.

Although, there's room in the back yard for a Koi pond...

Save yourselves...

In my service to Mistress Mother Nature I spend time daily weeding, watering, fertilizing and otherwise caring for and worshiping her beauty. So far, I haven't killed anything although the blue columbine I planted is still flowerless while HER pink columbines are setting records for blooms.  Go figure.

New Pinkness

Each year I plant boatloads of impatiens. They may be my favorite annual because they come in virtually every color, they grow in shade, they tell you immediately when they need water (they wilt visibly - sometimes I swear I can hear them gasping) and if you fertilize the hell out of them, they will quickly fill whatever space you put them in, completely eliminating the need to do much weeding.

Yesterday, at the back of a bed of impatiens I discovered this:

Oh. Em. Gee.

I showed it to Sparky but he dismissed it. "It's just a hole. Relax."

Relax? How can I relax? I watch NatGeo TV!

Now it all makes sense. The bunny that lived in our yard disappeared. And the squirrel population is dwindling rapidly. The signs are obvious.

There are Subterranean Pythons in Connecticut. 

God help us all.

50 Shades of Pink

Blooming, Blooming, Blooming!

Ever since that last post about Her, this concrete-busting columbine plant has been in perpetual bloom.  Feeling lucky, I bought and planted a blue columbine nearby. Within a day, every friggin' flower fell off the plant.

Blue Columbloomless

To make Her point, this is what sprouted up about 7 inches from the blue plant ...

Ta dah!

Just in case the message was unclear... Mistress Mother Nature (I once again surrender to Her Supreme Awesomeness) prefers the columbines in this garden pink.

Now if only she could do something about the Bear's wardrobe...

These people need professional help...

Bride Bear? Mom Bear? Barbie Bear?

So, yesterday I came home and almost took out the dogwood tree in the front yard. As I turned into the driveway, I saw the Bear... in all his glory... in Drag.

That's right, they made him a dress out of what looks like muslin - with a headpiece/veil to match. 

Oh. Em. Fucking. Gee.

It's not easy to see, but he's holding flowers. I had to hide behind Son O'Mine's car to snap the pic since the neighbors were out in the yard and don't take kindly to me strolling across their driveway for a photo op.

I'm weirded out by people who dress up their LIVE pets but damn, this takes it to a whole nother level.

The sad thing is... it's not even a pretty dress. They could've at least gone with something in a floral.

*Sigh...*

Since we're dancing on the gender fence here, I can't wait to see what they have in mind for Memorial Day. I'm picturing a platinum blonde wig, stars and stripes miniskirt and white patent leather boots.

And flaming batons...

50 Shades of Green

Some people picture Mother Nature as a benevolent, loving Earth-mother hippie chick. Not me, I see her more like this:

Yes, Mistress

She is a harsh Mistress. We live on her planet. Our purpose here is to serve Nature.  

Some people have this misguided idea that they can control Nature. Take for example, my neighbor - the Ninja Gardener.   She spends enormous amounts of time and energy mowing and planting and weeding and watering and weed-whacking and fertilizing… and yet, her lawn still looks like a brown and yellow patchwork quilt.

Other “suburbians” pay exorbitant prices for lawn services in their quest for perfect green-ness.  A huge truck comes to your home weekly and full grown lawn gnomes spill out and spray a chemical soup on your grass and then disappear. They leave behind tiny white flags and a lawn that looks like Astroturf.  

Not me. I have accepted Mother Nature’s dominance over me. I embrace the dandelions and in return, she scatters my yard with violets and 4 leaf clovers, and later in the summer – wild strawberries.

It took me a while to get it. When we first bought this house, I planted a columbine in the front yard, but it didn’t take. I planted another one in that same perfect, shady spot the next year, but it died within a month. I tried a third year, same result. (OK, so I’m persistent) Then, I gave up. And that same spring … a beautiful pink columbine sprouted through the concrete between the stones on my front walk. I’ve tried to dig it up, but it persistently comes back every year, bigger and more vigorous than the year before.

She wants it HERE

I take this as a direct message from Mother Nature. “Surrender, Fool – Resistance is futile.”

Last year, I didn’t do any yard work. Didn’t clean out the flowerbeds, didn’t weed… and the Dogwood tree in the front yard didn’t blossom.  This year, I’ve been diligently caring for the yard… and look.

My Dogwood Tree :)

But now I’ve got to cover my petunias.

There are little white flags on the lawn across the street.

The Weatherman is predicting frost tonight.

Some folks never learn.

Resumes, Cover Letters and References - Oh My!

Well-rounded executive with superior people skills

If you haven’t been in the job market in a while, you’re in for a rude awakening. Everything has changed. And I mean EVERYTHING. 

First you need to update the resume. What type of resume do you want? Oh yes, there are types now. Do you need a chronological resume or a functional resume? Can’t decide? Well then there’s the hybrid resume.  

Once you complete your resume you need to have an online presence. This is the digital age, remember? The days of mailing out your resume with cover letters are gone. If you’re not internet savvy – get savvy. Fast.  

LinkedIn, CareerBuilder, Monster, Indeed.com… those are just a few of the places where you need to create a profile and post your resume. And each has its own quirks. Some only accept a text version of your resume - some change the formatting when you upload. Be prepared – this can take a while. 

And you’ll need to read up on the current lingo – Google will become your best friend and translator. Here are a few tidbits I found in job postings: 

·       Value added support (as opposed to useless support?)

·       Bias for Action (is inactivity an option?)

·       Appreciation of importance of a patient-centered mission (Really?)

·       Bachelor’s Degree “perferred” (not a fan of Spell-check?)

·       Comfort in a fast-moving environment with frequent changes in scope or direction of projects (Translation: Applicant must have ADHD)

And the Insurance companies will stalk you. Apparently, they are desperate for sales people because until you ask them at least three times not to contact you they will send daily emails and call weekly. When I informed the man on the phone that I am really not interested in a Sales position, he said “We don’t do sales. We identify a need and we fill it.” 

All righty… 

And jobs have new spiffy titles now. I read a posting for a Distribution Generalist for a Publishing company – sounded interesting until I read the job requirements and realized the position is actually a newspaper delivery person.  

Ok… 

That Manager position at Mr Happy's Café looked appealing. They were looking for an energetic, well rounded, organized person with People skills. But it doesn't pay that well... and there's something just wrong about a place that describes itself as "Your Daddy's Stripbar." 

I think I may have found my dream job though. This is even better than that Walmart Greeter.  I want to drive the train at the Mall.

All Aboard!!! I'd call it the Bear Express

Check out these wheels!

I could cruise slowly like a shark around the mall... sneak up behind some doofus on his cell phone and... 

DING!DING!DING!  

I'd ring that big bell just to see him jump. Oh man, what fun. Whole lotta play value here.  

Well a girl can dream…

For those of you who are still searching for a job, here are a few tips: 

• Be sure your email address is professional looking – “HotsieTotsie at Hotmail” may send the wrong message to a potential employer (Unless he’s Mr. Happy).
• Adjust your privacy settings on Facebook. Those drunken half-naked pictures from your BFF’s bachelorette party won’t get you the job (Unless it’s at Mr. Happy’s Café). If you want to see what your online rep is, just Google yourself. You’d be surprised what comes up.
• Keep track of all your logins and passwords. Not only do all of the job search sites have secure logins, but many companies use a digital application service that requires you to create a profile just to apply.
• Be sure to have everything ready before you start the application process (resume, cover letter, references, etc). Take your time – but not too much time. Applying for jobs online sounds like it should be fast. Yeah, not so much. Some applications are 12-15 pages long and if you take too long, it times out. Everything lost, start over. (Scroll to the bottom of the application page – make use of the “save and complete later” button if you need to stop for any reason)
• Don’t get discouraged if you get no reply. Most employers utilize a software program that scans resumes for key words – if yours doesn’t hit those keys, the resume drops into a black cyber hole (formerly known as the circular file). Count yourself lucky if you get auto replies.

 Most of all… keep your chin up and know you’re not alone.

Bear hugs to ya…

Thank Goodness - pushing that toaster button is exhausting

Ok, so I'm in the grocery store the other day and I saw this:

Best thing since sliced bread...

Pre-made toast.

Really? Even I'm not THAT lazy. Really? Or are you too busy? Can't take 45 seconds out of your life to toast bread? Does it take too much effort to push that button?

Really??

Then I saw the brand name...

Bimbos have their own food group now

Ah OK. 'Nuff said.

It's only a matter of time till we see bottled boiling water...

I have a new obsession

National Geographic TV.

When I was working, I didn't really watch much TV. My viewing was limited to mostly Bravo TV Housewives (pick a city) and HBO Series (Deadwood, Rome, True Blood and Game of Thrones). Mostly because they reran them quickly so if I missed an episode, I could catch up without much effort. But I didn't watch much else. After a long day at work and hours of commuting, I was lucky if I could stay awake through dinner.

With more time on my hands now, I have discovered that my cable gives me about 500 gazillion channels. I have a veritable smorgasborg of entertainment at my fingertips.

Who knew?

So, I'm flipping through the channels and I happened upon NatGeoTV.

Oh. Em. Gee.

Check this out:

Rocket City Rednecks.
These are a group of friends in Huntsville, AL who actually are rocket scientists. On the weekends, they get together and "experiment." In the episodes I watched, they retrofitted an old RV for a simulated manned mission to Mars (complete with a distillation system to convert Pee to drinking water), they invented lightweight vehicle armor using beer cans and duct tape, and built a homemade Radio Telescope out of abandoned dish satellites and backyard junk.

It's like MacGuyver on steroids.

And those scary animal shows get my brain working overtime.

The Connecticut Python

Me: There's a python in our front yard.

Sparky: There are no pythons in Connecticut.

Me: Look in the front yard!

Sparky: That's a branch. You need to stop watching TV.

Me: They are invading the Everglades! Eating alligators and cars! It's only a matter of time before they reach New England.

Sparky: Pythons are tropical reptiles. It's too cold for them in New England.

Me: Global warming, baby. It's happening. We better be ready. Just sayin'.


Then there's The Dog Whisperer.

Love me some Cesar Milan. He now has a rehab for dogs with psychological issues. 'Nuff said.

Now there's a new show.

Doomsday Preppers.
Folks preparing for the end of the world. Only thing is, no two of them can agree on how that end will happen. Volcanoes, Tsunamis, Nuclear Bombs, Global Warming, Civil Unrest... the list goes on. Not only does the show highlight how these peeps are preparing for the end, but experts give their opinions on how effective their efforts will be if the end does come.

Now THAT is reality TV.

I'm watching... and I'm taking notes.

Once more into the abyss...

So you may have noticed that this blog was quiet for a while... because I was working. Yes, after several months, I found a new job. Well, I didn't find it, actually their recruiter found me.

Things were really looking up. I started on January 9th, and after a month I seemed to once again be hitting my stride. It took some adjusting... After a large corporate environment, this company was tiny - I was employee number 8.

But it was interesting and I was learning about a new industry and the people were nice... and it was good money.

I should've known.

A month in, the shit hit the fan.

The small software company I worked for suffered a catastrophic hardware failure. They were forced to spend buckets of cash to replace most of their networking hardware.

Two days later, they realized that the financial loss was greater than they had expected. And they had to make some difficult decisions.

One of those decisions was to lay off that brand new Project Manager they'd just hired...

That would be me.

So... it's back to unemployment and the never-ending search for a new job... cruising the online job sites, networking and shooting applications and resume`s into that huge black hole where no one really reads them.

 Linkedin and Monster and CareerBuilder, oh my...



Christmas in Bear Country

Bearmas 2011

It's Christmas time again although it's hard to tell by the weather. Here in CT we've been enjoying temps in the 50's every day. Maybe Mom Nature is giving us a break. It hasn't been an easy year here in New England weather-wise.

We normally start the Christmas decorating shortly after Thanksgiving. Over that first week of December, lights gradually appear but not this year. After Snow Storm Alfred gypped us out of Halloween, we're NAILING Christmas. At 12:01 the day after Thanksgiving this year, it was as if someone flipped a switch and Connecticut lit up like the Vegas Strip.

There are more lights than ever this year. Yards are jam packed with moving, singing, shaking and ringing elves, reindeer and Santas of every shape and size. I've seen more inflatable you-know-whos than I can count.

As for us, well the Bear's sporting his hat and spear and Radioactive Santa is in his place of honor on the garage roof.

I normally decorate everything that doesn't get out of my way. I collected handmade ornaments for years and when Son O'Mine was little, we'd spend a whole day hanging them all on the (real) tree. I get this Christmas mania from my maternal grandmother, Nanny. She loved Christmas. I mean, LOVED Christmas. This woman had 6 children and a husband who was a career Navy man so they traveled a lot.  Nanny never had much money, so she hand-made all her gifts - I particularly recall a blue shag hat with earflaps that she made me. Ugliest thing ever but it was warm and made with love so I wore it. Anything my Nanny made carried love in it and that made it magical.

Christmas was her holiday. She had one of those silver aluminum trees with two (yes, two!) colorwheels. Each year she'd decorate the tree in a theme - balls, garland, icicles - all in one color. One year it was red, one year green, one year blue - but my all time favorite was the year she did the tree in PURPLE.

Yep, a 7 foot shiny silver tree hung from top to bottom in deep purple balls and garland. It was spectacularly hideous. Long after she passed away, it was the topic of laughter anytime our family got together - that damn tree with the purple balls.

Over the years, I surrendered to the ease of the artificial tree. I think it was after the year I watched one too many Martha shows and felt the need to wrap every freakin branch with lights - it was gorgeous, but it was a bitch to take down. After about 5 minutes of trying to remove the lights, Sparky just said "Get out of the way!" and chucked the entire 7 foot tree out the front door, lights and all. I was not allowed to watch Martha again.

This year, I decided to scale back. I put up the tree and decided I really liked the way it looked with lights and no ornaments. 

Tree au naturale

So I went through the boxes and pulled a few simple pieces to put up and left the rest.

But I found one thing that I couldn't put away. It's the only ornament on my tree. It wouldn't be Christmas without it.

from her original tree

Merry Christmas, Nanny.

　

　

Dear CL&P

A gift from CL&P

So we received our monthly bill from CL&P today. This is the first since the freak snowstorm (Alfred) in October that knocked out power to most of CT for the better part of a week.

I'm still trying to figure out how our electric bill is higher than October when we didn't have power for a week... But I digress.

Enclosed with our bill was a sweet little informational pamphlet titled "Weathering a Storm."

Since I am a good customer, I promptly wrote the check and I returned the pamphlet to them with a note:

My Holiday gift to CL&P

What can I say? It's the holiday season and I like to give back.

Nuts

At this time of year, when the weather turns colder, we occasionally get critters making their way into the house. Usually a field mouse or two - which Sparky will humanely trap and toss back outside. Then they try to make their way back in. It's his version of the Circle of Life.

Me, I have a different theory. They're animals and they belong outside - catch them, kill them and staple their hides to the door as an example to other mice considering our home as a winter vacation. (I'm the bloodthirsty one in this family)

So it wasn't a huge issue when I heard the skittering of tiny feet and saw a flash of brown fur. I texted Sparky that we needed to get the traps and went on with my life. (I know what you're thinking but geez - It's not like I could catch it bare-handed, these little fuckers are FAST!)

The next day, I saw it again only this time I actually SAW it - it's not a fieldmouse.

He looks just like this...

We have the world's biggest hickory tree in our front yard, so we're always seeing squirrels in the yard. For a few years, we had a particularly sneaky red-tailed squirrel who would hurl hickory nuts at us. He had great aim, too - you'd have to duck and run from the driveway to the front door. But we've never had one in the house. Suprising, really considering Son O'Mine has a habit of leaving the doors wide open when he is outside.

We can't use the mouse traps because squirrels have bigger heads (even though this is a little squirrel) so we need to find a better way to get rid of him. I did a little research. They said to close him off into one room (did that) and open a window or door to outside (yep) and put a cracker with some peanut butter on the sill outside (check).

Now, I didn't sit there and watch - left the door open for a couple hours, but the cracker is still there. Maybe he doesn't like JIF creamy peanut butter? Should I have used the Skippy Extra Chunky?

Or maybe he did go outside - haven't heard him since. Although I half expect to see him one of these days pumped up and pissed off...

Hey, it could happen...

Penn State Shame

"May no act of ours bring shame"
Too late, Joe.

Ok, so as the wife of a Football Coach, you know I couldn't stay silent about this horrific situation at Penn State University. I thought letting some time pass would allow me to calm down and see this rationally. Yeah, not so much.

When the Board of Trustees fired Joe Paterno, I was relieved to see that they seemed to finally be getting their priorities straight. But it seemed a matter of too little too late. While Joe Pa might be the most visible villian here, he is by no means the only one.

First and foremost, Jerry Sandusky is the lowest form of life there is - a pedophile. There is no punishment dark enough, painful enough to pay for what he did. He is simply a waste of skin.

Then there's Mike McQueary. He actually witnessed Sandusky raping a 10 year old boy in the shower. What did he do? He called his father. Then he reported it to Joe Paterno.

Did he call the police? NO.

The reports keep mentioning that McQueary was a graduate assistant at the time - making it sound as if he were a young student himself. The man was 28 years old. A grown man who made a choice NOT to notify the police after he witnessed a crime.


Then there's Tim Curley, the Athletic Director. After Paterno reported what was witnessed in the shower, Curley informed his superiors and 10 days later, he and Senior VP of Finance Gary Schultz interviewed McQueary.

Did either of these men call the police? NO.

It took them over two weeks to take Sandusky's keys to the locker room and they banned him from bringing children into the football locker room (a ban that Curley admitted was unenforceable).

Gary Schultz supervised the campus police at the time. He stated that he thought the incident involved Sandusky "inappropriately grabbing the boy's genitals" but it was "not that serious." He also told the grand jury that he knew about a 1998 investigation into a similar incident involving Sandusky and a boy in a shower and STILL did not report this.

And lastly there is Graham Spanier the University President. The incident was reported to him and he was fully aware that neither the campus police or any other police agency were notified. This man has a background in sociology and marriage and family counseling and it never occurred to him to report this or follow up?

All of these men knew and CHOSE not to report it. Nor did any of them attempt to identify the boy involved or make one move to protect him or future victims.

The only moves they made were to protect the football program. This was a cowardly conspiracy of silence.

As I've said before, Sparky coaches football. For years we've understood that when it comes to holidays, family gatherings, social obligations, birthdays and such, they all come in second to football. We try to schedule around games and practice. And when he is home, the conversation runs to what players he's recruiting, what plays they'll use in the game this week, re-plays of last week's game, who's doing well/bad in practice - it's all football all the time - we get that.

But...

He takes his role as a Coach seriously. He spends his time reaching out to kids, encouraging them to work hard, keep their grades up, respect themselves and others and grow into decent, honorable men.

And I know without a doubt that he would NEVER put football ahead of the safety of a child. EVER.

My advice to parents of football players - do your research. Check out the Coaches and observe how they interact with the players on and off the field. Does the Coach invest in the players or does he demand blind obedience? Coaches are there to support the players, they are not Gods.

The men at Penn State created a Football Cult.

Football is a wonderful sport and it can teach youngsters about strength, determination, teamwork and life.

Just don't drink the Kool-Aid.



P.S.  Final score on these players:

Indicted: Jerry Sandusky
Fired: Joe Paterno and Graham Spanier
Admin Leave: Tim Curley (Penn State is paying his legal costs)
Retired: Gary Schultz (Penn State is paying his legal costs)

Hmmm...